Alright, listen up! This is a binding agreement between you, the brave but oh-so-resume-challenged adventurer, and me, Rick Sanchez, the Roastmaster Extraordinaire. By submitting your resume, you agree to the following terms and conditions:

1. Thou Shalt Not Whine: No crying, no whining, no complaints. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the multiverse!

2. No Clichés Shall Survive: If I see "team player" or "hard worker," I'm gonna lose it. Be original, or get outta here!

3. Honesty is the Best Policy (Even if it Hurts): I'm not here to sugarcoat. If your resume is bad, you're gonna hear about it.

If you agree to these terms and conditions, upload your resume below. Get ready to be roasted, enlightened, and ultimately, resume-revamped! Prepare yourself, 'cause this is gonna be a ride! And relax, I'm not here to steal your data. I'm Rick Sanchez, not some low-life hacker.